7 Lessons To Learn From British Brides
The Brits know how to keep everything–from dinner parties to coronations to (royal) weddings–effortlessly elegant and sophisticated. This, after all, is the nation that invented service at its best and high standards for all things classic and traditional–while also being the birthplace of irreverent punk. It's no shock that those looking to keep it classic or buck tradition in all the right ways have long been turning to the English for inspiration. Here, 7 key lessons to learn from brides in the UK–from dress shopping to wedding planning.
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1. Ditch The First Look.
The American obsession with a First Look (i.e. seeing your fiancé before you say your vows for a private moment and a photo-op) has not reached the UK just yet–and it tends to make for more emotional ceremonies. Brides traditionally see their partners for the first time at the altar, spending the night before with their family, bridesmaids and friends. Portraits with the couple are taken after the ceremony, when they're officially married, which lessens the chances that the anticipatory anxiety of the aisle will effect the looks on their faces in photos.
2. Make It An All Day Affair.
British Weddings aren't a simple five-hour long party at a banquet hall. Instead, the ceremony leads into a daytime reception with cocktails and canapés that's followed by a formal dinner, after-dinner dancing and post-reception after party. Case in point: Will and Kate. While the royal couple's daytime reception was more of a parade in a horse-drawn carriage and a public kiss, there was a delay between their wedding vows and their late-night dinner party, where Kate donned a more laid-back, A-line Alexander McQueen by Sarah Burton gown with a knit capelet.
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3. Not Only The Bride Needs A Costume Change.
Two events in one day means two looks as well. While the bride may opt to stay in her gown for the day's worth of events, it's more common for female guests to wear formal daytime dresses, formal suiting and upscale garden looks paired with hats to the church ceremony, switching into a more formal look for evening. We can promise you that while Victoria Beckham looked incredibly chic in a navy, midi-length cocktail dress paired with a fascinator at Will and Kate's nuptials, she most definitely changed into something more formal for the evening's events.
4. Keep it Classic.
Traditions are instilled and preserved for a reason–they've long been considered the best, and shouldn't always be messed with. That's not to say you can't buck them here and there for something a bit more modern, but the Brits understand that ditching them altogether is passé. The importance of maintaining a level of formality, heritage and history in life's biggest milestones is something to be admired. At an English wedding, a classic dinner service, rather than an unconventional one (like Americans' affinity to serve the couple's favorite dish–be it fried chicken, BBQ or sushi–no matter whether it's appropriate to the the event's level of formality) is standard. A properly served meal (dishes arriving in unison, napkins in the lap, toasts delivered during dinner rather than dancing, the list goes on) is expected from guests who have flown from far and wide to join you. A cash bar or a wine and beer only affair is essentially unheard of in the UK; an open, top-shelf bar and proper wine pairings during dinner aren't exciting surprises–they're mainstays. Should you be attending a wedding in the UK as an American, bring your best table manners along with you. Make sure to go out of your way to wish the couple, their parents and any living grandparents well wishes and congratulations–receiving lines upon entry to the reception are still a tradition observed across the pond.
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5. Go Custom.
In the UK (and in Europe), dress shopping is just different. American brides scour bridal runways and magazines (across the pond they do the same) hoping to narrow down their favorite looks and find them in their local bridal salons. Brides in the UK are more apt to go directly to their favorite designer and design something bespoke–or make custom changes to a pre-existing look. Fewer multi-brand salons exist in the UK than they do the U.S., and shopping in them is therefore less common. Also, because over-the-top, larger weddings are more celebrated on the whole in England, rather than in France where domestic partnerships are more commonplace, the young designer scene in bridal is thriving. It's more likely brides will gravitate towards a lesser known name that can craft them something custom than a well-known designer's made-to-order option plucked from a series of samples. In addition to exclusively bridal designers, London-based eveningwear designers like Bruce Oldfield, Ralph & Russo and Nicholas Oakwell (known to design for royalty) are also on-hand for custom bridal styles. Renowned British brands like Vivienne Westwood and Roland Mouret also craft custom out of their English ateliers and sell their bridal collections from their London flagship stores as well. Fans of Alexander McQueen, Roksanda, Alessandra Rich and Emilia Wickstead are in luck as well–these designers are also known to craft custom bridal gowns for those willing to work closely with their London studios. Men tend to turn to Saville Row and bespoke tailors to craft custom suiting and tuxedos for the day-of as well. If you can't find your dream dress in your hometown, travel. British brides are known to hop over to Paris and Italy for fittings just as frequently, like Poppy Delevingne's Chanel gown, Nicky Hilton's Valentino for her wedding to Englishman James Rothschild or Kate Moss' custom Galliano sheath.
6. There Is A Chic Way To Be A Princess For The Day.
Royal Weddings are one thing, but donning a gorgeous ballgown, making a grand entrance and borrowing the family jewels for the day even if you're not in line for a throne is a common bridal desire. If you're the type that wants to feel like royalty (and who wouldn't?) there is undoubtedly a tasteful way to achieve it–and brides in the U.S. tend to forget that overwrought gowns, crystals descending from centerpieces and sky-high cakes aren't how it's done. A long train for drama, traveling in a vintage car, top-notch food choices, a delicate tosser of petals handed to each guest for a dramatic ceremony exit, lush florals and a second dress for dancing? That's how it's done.
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7. Who Needs Bridesmaids?
American brides tend to overcrowd aisles with countless bridesmaids, never wanting to leave out anyone from their big day. That sentiment is lovely, but sometimes it's best to keep it simple. Include your family and only friends that feel like family–then turn to the children in your clan that won't stay up for the reception to round out your entourage. Celebrate your close friends by seating them at the head table–a sweetheart table can feel a little bit dated. Bridesmaids in the UK refer to the petite helpers of the day, not your besties from school, distant cousins and the couple of girls you didn't want to disappoint. Plus, opting for a gaggle of little girls will also make your photos that much more sweet.
Carrie Goldberg is HarpersBAZAAR.com’s Weddings & Travel Director. She oversees the site’s BAZAAR Bride channel, travel & dining content, and styles fashion and bridal editorials for BAZAAR.com. When she’s not traveling, she spends her free time in her hometown–New York City–where there is no shortage of new places to shop, eat, drink, see and explore.
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