How to create a better work life balance

Welcome to Consult a Coach, our regular careers clinic for Bazaar readers. Send us your work dilemmas, and we’ll ask our careers agony aunt – the industry professional, executive coach and motivational speaker Jo Glynn-Smith – to answer it.

Here, Jo advises a reader on how to find balance in a busy working life.

Explore the Consult a Coach archive, full of careers-based advice. Got a question you'd like answered? Email us at consultacoach@harpersbazaar.co.uk

Dear Jo,

I feel utterly burnt out. December is always a stressful time at the management consultancy firm where I work, but this year, I’m even more exhausted than usual and feel as though I’m trying to do too much. I have three children and my partner takes charge of most family commitments – I’d like to be able to spend more time with them at home, but as the main household earner, I find it hard to cut back my working hours. I know that I need a better work-life balance for myself in 2024, but I don’t know where to start.

Yours gratefully,

Sarinda, 38

Jo says...

Dear Sarinda,

Thanks for your email. It’s ironic that the holiday period is the only time of the year when most people get a break, and yet it’s never the kind of rest we really need to recharge us for the year ahead, especially if you have children.

It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling exhausted. You’re juggling a high-pressure job, a relationship and three children. So, let’s start by taking a step back and recognising that. Sadly, burnout is extremely common and can lead to medical leave if not addressed in time, so it makes sense that you’d like to make some positive changes to support your energy and give you a bit more family time going forward.

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From what you describe, you and your husband are doing a great job at ‘dividing and conquering’, with you as the main financial contributor, and your husband managing the family commitments. This ensures that your children’s needs are met, and the family operates efficiently. Is it perfect? No, it never really is, but at least you are demonstrating that you both work well as a team, and this is important when we are trying to create more balance.

Work-life balance is, essentially, maintaining a harmonious relationship between your work and personal life by managing your time and energy to meet both professional and personal commitments. This is incredibly difficult to achieve most of the time, but there are things we can do to help us understand ourselves and our needs better. Remember, as parents, we have a duty of care to ourselves as much as we do to our children; it’s not a selfish act. Your health and wellbeing are vital to theirs, so let’s look at what we can do.

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1/ Plan your week as if it’s work

It sounds crazy, but having a weekly operational meeting with your husband ensures that responsibilities are allocated and there are no surprises. It’s also when you can ask each other for help if you’re feeling more pressure that week; teamwork makes the dream work after all.

2/ Create efficiencies

As creatures of habit, many of us can become trapped by our daily routines, but there may be a better way to do things that can have incredible wellbeing results – looking at our routines around sleep can be a good place to start.

3/ Prioritise your health

Remind yourself what you need to feel energised and relaxed. Whether it’s exercise, more sleep, less alcohol, having baths, or phoning a friend – make a list of the things that you know make you feel better, because these often slip when we get busy. Make a commitment to re-introduce them as soon as possible.

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4/ List your happiness non-negotiables

Happiness reduces stress, so focus on what you know you need. You mentioned more time at home; what does this realistically look like, and how could you make it work? There’s always a compromise to be found somewhere, and even tiny changes can have huge results.

5/ Practise being present

This is easier said than done, but if you can try to be fully focused on each moment, your fulfilment will go up and your stress levels will go down. I find leaving my phone out of reach at home really helps me focus on family time, and I never look at my phone during the night – there’s not much I can do at 3am!

Let me know how you get on, and good luck,

Courtesy of Jo Glynn-Smith

Jo Glynn-Smith is a transformation coach, speaker and personal-brand expert from London who works with leaders, entrepreneurs and businesses to help maximise their team or individual potential. Before becoming a coach, she spent most of her career in the fashion industry working at the highest level with some of the biggest global brands. You can follow Jo for more coaching tips and advice on Instagram (@jojoglynnsmith) or visit her website, joglynnsmith.com.

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